Foolish fishing rules

I'm telling you, the Federal Dingbats are a bunch of con artists. They upped the seal quota at a time when the economy is down, and a lot of uncertainty in the sealing industries.
Every year when the seal fishery was just around this corner, fishermen get their boats ready. This year, I haven't seen a soul moving. No, they didn't lose their get up and go. With all the bad news, they don't see the incentive to go at it.
And do you know you almost have to have good medical knowledge if you're going after seals. In fact, in Brookfield hospital, we have two good Newfie doctors. Yep, Dr. Darcy and Dr. Cutler. Now, if they want to make some extra money, they should head out to the ice. With their knowledge, they know the meaning of palpation and cranium.
My son had a list of rules concerning the harvest of seals from the DFO. I'm telling you, that Jacqueline Perry, director of the Resource Management, must have a real soft heart when it comes to seals. You have to kill them with tender-loving care.
It's a funny thing. The government won't put a stop to the killing of unborn babies. Yet, with the seal hunt, they come up with more rules than a NHL hockey game. Maybe the seal hunters should follow the skating of those players and come out fighting.
One rule states that if you shoot a seal you have to observe it for a directed movement. If that animal waves good-bye to the world, you have to shoot it again. That poor animal is not allowed to wave a final good-bye to the world.
Then to make sure its dead, a sealer must rub his hand over the seal's head to make sure the cranium is crushed. If not, you have to give it another wop with the hakapik or club. This means more time lost from the harvest. But that's not all. The sealer must bend over, and again palpate the skull. More time lost. All this to make sure a dead seal is dead. All this also means a sore back and lost time.
It means lost time because if it takes five minutes to make sure one seal is dead, that means a hour to make sure 14 seals are dead? My God, losing a hour with seals around means a lot of animals will go free. This means lost money for a sealer. And why does a sealer have to bleed a dead seal? It is the pelt that he is after, not the meat. Now, if our government was buying the meat for the food banks, I say yes, bleed the animal.
Now that is what I find real funny. The greatest meat on earth and the government won't step in and put it to good use. That meat is good in many ways. For one, all the Tulks and their ancestors on this shore loved their seal meat. And look what happened. Those down the Aspen Cove way, multiplied faster than rabbits. Up here in Newtown, we went the same way as the Great Auk. But thank God there are a few left.
Maybe that is why our government is not in favour of canning up good seal meat. They are afraid that if too many Tulks eat it there will be too many Beaton and Bob Tulks around.
But I'm worried. What if the Department of Fools comes up with some rules regarding lobsters and cod. What if they pass a law saying that the live lobster must be blindfolded and killed before it is put in the pot. My God, they can be foolish enough to do that.
And that is not all. What if they say we have to get one of those things a doctor wears around their neck. The one they stuff in their ears while listening to a heartbeat. Maybe when we haul a cod over the gunwale of our boat, we have to make sure the cod is dead before we fillet it. This means we got to stuff this thing in our ears and listen for a heartbeat. Now don't laugh. Anything is possible when you got a department made up of foolish ones.
And you wait and see. The next thing they will be doing is fighting to stamp out aborting in the lump fishery.