Innocence is a matter of perception

The future is in our past - Yet another Roman Catholic priest has been accused of sexual assault. Unfortunately Father Des McGrath, the well-known co-founder of the FFAW, will never have his day in court. McGrath was found dead in his home after he failed to make a court appearance in Stephenville on charges of indecent assault.

With nary a thought to innocent until proven guilty, the vultures are out to pick his bones clean. Chat lines are having a field day. It's possible that Father McGrath is guilty but we will never know.

Whenever a well-known respected person is exposed for sex crimes the shock is palpable. Anger and accusations give vent to pent up feelings. The story is front-page news for the requisite nine days and then we go back to our insulated cocoons unwilling to posit the question: why?

Does the pillorying of Father McGrath and others like him assuage our consciences? For, whether we like to believe it or not, we are willing accomplices to sexual abuse of all kinds every single day of our lives.

Did you know that one third of all the sex trade workers (prostitutes) are under the age of eighteen? Think about it! One third of the workers plying the sex trade are recruited when they are between the ages of 12 - 14. With one third of the sex workers under eighteen, the number of men who pay for this service must be staggering.

What would you call the man who picks up young girls off the streets and pays them for sex? Is he a pedophile? Is he an abuser? Do you judge him differently than you would the parish priest?

When girls are arrested for prostitution there is no mention of the men whose desires they are satisfying. The girls are the criminals; the men get away scot-free. We condone that rule, the law that absolves such men of their actions.

Punishing the odd pedophile or rapist for working within the confines of our middle class sensibilities does nothing to address the ills of society. What it does do is keep the two classes of victim well away from each other. We are horrified when one of our own class is abused. We look the other way when a (respectable) man pays a child (prostitute) for sex.

If we choose to look closely we might find that even in the cases closer to home, which are exposed to the light of day, the children are somehow disadvantaged. They are the poor, the orphaned, and the delinquents. Rarely do we hear of well-off children being victims of persons in positions of trust. Like it or not, cover-up is the sum and substance of the abuse game.

Abuse is pervasive and endemic across societal lines. We are slowly coming to grips with this truism. What is needed is more open dialogue that addresses the separation of children into those about whom we care and the prostitutes we leave to their fate.

Coincidentally, about the time Father McGrath's death made headlines, President Barack Obama was having a beer in the White House with two men who were at odds with each other - an African-American Harvard professor and the white cop who arrested him for being belligerent.

The police were called because a neighbor had suspected a burglary when she saw the professor prying open the stuck door of his residence. According to the records, no more than five or six minutes later the professor was arrested for accusing the policeman of racial profiling.

At a news conference, President Barack Obama called the arrest stupid. Echoing the President, many people believe that the policeman would have tipped his hat to a white Harvard professor. The African-American felt dehumanized by the policeman. The policeman felt dehumanized by the President.

Then President Obama did something unprecedented. He invited both men to the White House for a chat and a beer. President Obama understands that airing one's narrative is the first step toward change. Both the black man and the white man now have some food for thought provided, with a beer, by President Obama.

Victims of abuse also want to be heard. The abuse victim has been dehumanized. Persons in positions of trust and ordinary men who pay children for sex don't see them as human. They see them as objects to be abused.

The first step in a process of change is to recover one's humanity. Putting a person in jail is revenge and does nothing to restore a victim's humanity. The President knew that if this were indeed a case of racial profiling each person had to see the other person as human before the conflict could be resolved.

Now that Father McGrath is no longer with us, let's not sully his name nor forget his accuser. The sad part is that the trial, which would have allowed both to tell their story, will not happen. More than commiserating the lack of punishment, which will probably continue to plague the accuser, some way could be found to give the accuser back his/her life, as we leave Des McGrath to rest in peace.