New Year

Too foolish to talk about -

The New Year is upon us. As I'm writing this, there's two more weeks before the New Year kicks in. I'm only doing it because I need a week off. After all, I'm only human. And us humans are like a used car - we wear out with time.

But today, life goes on so long as I'm healthy. It's only when sickness strikes, the value of our life goes down. We are ready for the junkyard.

I just thought of something. When my mother and father were alive and in poor health, I mentioned to my father, who was 80, about going into a nursing home. He said, "ÌWhat for? There are only old people in there."Î

This was my father, forever young.

Out with the old and in with the new. My God, does anybody know that some of that old stuff is good as gold? I hope that nobody threw away their grandparents old chamber pot. Those things are worth money.

I dare to wonder why they got rid of the Mummers. They were around too long.

I just can't see why people makes a big fuss about welcoming in the New Year. Well, it could be the alcohol. Drinkers have to come up with a good reason to get a bottle. I suppose a little bit of fun is not going to hurt.

But, when the New Year comes in, it goes down hill pretty fast. Let's see now, we have the crooked MHAs and the useless ones. And I may say, this includes the MPs up in Ottawa. Along with that, we've got the drug pushers and the drug users. We got the drinkers and the smokers. Also, we've got the dealers in contraband cancer sticks and the alcohol. And in the New Year, we will still have the robbers and the murderers.

Now what the hell do we have to celebrate?

I guess the best we can do is hope for the best. And you can be sure that the best can turn out pretty bad. You know, I've been doing some thinking. Maybe I should make some resolutions for others.

I make the first resolution on behalf of Premier Danny Williams. This year, we will kick asses in Quebec and show them that they can't rob us blind like they did before with Churchill Falls.

But beware - since Premier Williams has oil on his brains, don't put to much hope in him.

Another resolution is to lock horns with Ottawa. Let them know that the fishery is our own. We don't need a Federal Fishery Minister who don't know a cod fish from a jelly fish. Yes, there are plenty of things we can have hope for. One important thing is good healthcare. We are badly in need of doctors. We do have doctors, but just because you're a doctor doesn't mean that you are a doctor. We have one doctor in Brookfield Hospital who is not a doctor. But he is better than just about all the rest.

So, on behalf of the Minister of Health, I'm making a resolution to help get more doctors.

Now, about education. As you all know, I went through the school of hard knocks. I know the in and outs of education. First, if you want to learn to read, get some good comic books. They are the best reading equipment around.

Yes, we should make resolutions to pressure the Minister of Education to get a large number of comic books for the schools.

I can't remember the Minister of Education name (Editor's note: It's Darin King). I say we should make a resolution to pressure Premier Williams to make sure that all Cabinet Ministers have their names written on their rear ends.

There are my own resolutions to make. One is, I've got to lose weight. To do that, I've got to cut down on eating. To cut down on eating, I've got to stop eating three fried eggs and six slices of toast bread in the morning. I got to eat only one egg and one slice of bread.

Gail Kean is not going to be too pleased when she reads that.