Not a good start

Too foolish to talk about - I'm starting this column on the first day of the New Year. Not because I want to do it. It is because I have to start writing at some time or another. After all, writing is like visiting the bathroom to dump some fertilizer down the toilet - it is a job that has to be done.

But shooting of those darn guns on New Year's Eve is not a job that has to be done. Here I was dreaming I was dipping up a meal of lobsters out on the back of our church. Yes, I did that when I was a boy. I had to do it because food had to come from somewhere.

Anyway, I was dreaming away about the lobsters when suddenly, rip, rip, rip, pop, pop, pop, and bang, bang, bang. I came to my taps thinking that the story I heard about the world coming to an end was true. The army of God was marching up across Pinchard Island Bight, firing a load of number four shot into everyone they meet.

It wasn't that at all. It was just some drunken fools welcoming in the New Year. My God, what a going on. My dog got mad. He was ready to eat the first fool that came through the door. My cat was also on the move, looking for a safe hiding place. It got so bad; I tried hiding my head under the pillows.

Why all this foolishness on New Year's Eve? Why the drinking and the noisemaking. There are better things to do than that. And what is so special about the new year? It is only a year like any other year.

The people on earth might get smarter during the New Year. But the world won't get any better. While I'm writing this, there is a bloodbath going on out in the Middle East. Up in Ottawa, our government is trying to come up with a crooked way to run this country. Down in the USA, the people were always foolish, and now they are getting worst. In St. John's, the people are going insane. There is no end to madness. Now, is that something to celebrate?

Peace. This is one thing we can pray and hope for. If we could get peace, we would have a good reason to celebrate. Hmmm, that could mean that some would get drunk and cause more trouble.

There is only one way to do it. If we could get peace, we should go to our knees and thank God.

But why do we have all this trouble in the world? Any world news will tell of wars and killing. One morning I was getting the news from the States, first thing that I heard was about Santa Claus killing some people then killing himself. Shame on that fellow and the news. All they did was turn our children's idol into a murderer.

When God was making the world, why did he create all those countries and languages? Now from what I learned, it happened when they were building the Tower of Babel. They didn't have a union and they were forever in disagreement. That night while they were sleeping, God changed their speech. And that was the cause of all the trouble in the world.

It might have been lot better if He went and found a Danny Williams and ordered him to start a labour relation bureau. Danny would have done something better than what God done.

Hmm, maybe not. Today, Danny thinks he is God but the Newfoundland outports are not getting any better.

I just thought of something. During the Second World War, Hitler didn't like the Jews. He gave the order for their death. Now I'm starting to wonder if that was a wise move. If Israel wasn't there where it is, would there be anything to fight about?

Now that is a tough question. All the Middle East is troublemakers. They were born to cause trouble. Hmmm, I'll keep my ink dry on this one. After all, nothing causes a war faster than religion and politics. And the funny thing about it, religion causes it, but God get the blame.

Anyway, this year is off on a terrible start. There is nothing to celebrate. Danny is still putting on his tough guy act, Harper is looking for a mat to hide under, and Manning is riding a gravy train to Ottawa.

Know what? Manning's got a good reason to celebrate.